Sunday, May 18, 2008

Bring it...

Time, something that is irreplaceable. Time, something that haunts me each night as I go to sleep each night. I feel like the time I have left here, in Michigan, is quickly running out and it depresses me like you wouldn't believe. I find myself drawn to be around people all of the time, as if it's going to satisfy the loneliness. And the worst part of it all is I know that Jesus is the only one who can satisfy my loneliness, my feelings of worry and anxiety and I am deliberately choosing to ignore it. My relationship with God has changed a lot in the past few months. I think I am experiencing God in a way I never have before. I am realizing it's okay to not always put on a happy face when spending time with Him. Sometimes at night when I sit down to spend time with Him I express my feelings of anger, sadness, and my doubting faith and I realize it's okay. All He says is "bring it to me" no matter what it is. So as I sit here tonight I am a little angry at God, I am a little disappointed, but as I type these words I hear Him saying, "It's okay, Jenna. I'm still here, just don't stop talking to me. I love you and I will be with you wherever you go." And it's just that constant reminder that God understands hurt, He understands anger, He understands ME! So whatever aspect or characteristic of God you are experiencing tonight know that God can take every single aspect of who you are as a person, even the angry, stubborn, mad, faithless you. Just don't stop talking to Him... "BRING IT"

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